Please be a friend!
Coronavirus, it’s getting real! -Cardi B
This world wide pandemic is undoubtedly impacting physical health. But what a mental health? As I always strive to do let me be transparent. I have the following diagnosis. Meaning these are actual diagnosis in my medical record. Major depressive disorder, PTSD and anxiety. All of these diagnosis after going through divorce, other toxic relationships with mutual mental and emotional abuse (yes I share blame), diagnosis of breast cancer, several surgeries, and other medical conditions with no known diagnosis; all of this by age 26.
For some people these things seem minor. However, what is traumatic for one person may be a great day for another. It doesn’t make personal feelings any less valid. I have a great story of how a male doctor told me going through breast cancer doesn’t cause PTSD. I looked him up recently and he had terrible reviews. I know super petty!
I now realize that even in childhood I unknowingly experienced signs and symptoms of anxiety.
According to the NIMH Generalized anxiety disorder symptoms include:
- Feeling restless, wound-up, or on-edge
- Being easily fatigued
- Having difficulty concentrating; mind going blank
- Being irritable
- Having muscle tension
- Difficulty controlling feelings of worry
- Having sleep problems, such as difficulty falling or staying asleep, restlessness, or unsatisfying sleep
For more information on anxiety disorders check out: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders/index.shtml
The point of going over all of this is so the following experience can make more sense. I wrote this Facebook post this morning and I wanted to share with you all.
I’ve been acting “normal” for my family. But internally my anxiety has been at it’s peak for days. I’m trying to remember how I had to literary just be still and totally trust God in 2012 when diagnosed with cancer. But this situation has so many layers. In 2012 yes my life was at risk and my Jada was only 4. But that was somewhat isolated to me, my family and friends.
Now the entire world is uncertain of how to navigate this situation. I’m worried about my children getting education and other skills we don’t consider. Like learning to develop relationships and interact with people outside of family. This is especially true for my middle son. He finally was approved for additional services through the regional center. Now he can’t even go to the part time program that helped him in an extraordinary way. And please save the phrase “people are in worse situations”. It’s never been comforting to me; I worry about them too.
Parents are having to figure out how to make money, homeschool our children, and create new routines. It’s possible and we will do it. But this is A LOT to process for everyone.
So I ask, please have patience , have empathy, and help when you can. A man saw me struggling to grab toilet paper from the top shelf. Without hesitation he helped me before grabbing his own. It may seem very insignificant. But if you already have anxiety and go in the store feeling like you’re going into a war zone. Finding a “friend” in chaos even for a second can improve someone’s day.